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06-Sep-2017 08:05

I received a compelling email from a senior in high school and I would love to get your help answering it.

It’s such a sincere, honest email with such heartfelt questions about an important topic. Here’s the email (with her name changed and any identifying facts removed): Hi Gabrielle, My name is Lisa and I’m a senior in high school living in a medium-size city in Utah (I’ll be heading to BYU in the fall). I’m emailing you for advice among all people in the world because a) you’re a mom b) you’re LDS, and c) I like what you have to say especially about tricky topics like this. Today I was talking to my college age sister about a terrible law of chastity lesson I had in seminary and explained my frustration about how Mormons have such an unhealthy way about discussing sex.

The same thing is true for so many of life’s experiences, so it’s not just a sex thing.

Just know that no matter how much you know ahead of time, there will still be plenty of things to learn even after you start having sex.

Unfortunately until today I thought that was the same definition of sex.

Before I go on I want to add that I have a normal family and very normal parents.

Thanks a lot, Lisa —- Dear Lisa, Thank you so much for your email. As you know from our exchanges, I’m going to respond publicly here, and I also want Design Mom Readers to respond, because I think this is a topic that benefits from many experiences and many points of view. Second, I don’t know you or your parents, but based on what you wrote, and your confidence, I think they seem pretty great.

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Maybe 50 or 100 years ago it wasn’t really important to know that much, but in 2017 I think that teens need to be equipped with this knowledge.

So open conversations can bring it back to normal really quickly.

In addition to your parents, I hope you will also ask other adults in your life (teachers, church leaders, aunts) for open conversations about sex.

The experience of sex is so personal, and everyone you talk to will have experienced sex differently in small or big ways. Here are some things from my own experience with sex that might help. From your letter, I get the idea you’re looking for real advice, more than just a reassurance that sex is good.

My apologies in advance if this is too deep a dive.I’m going to note: I’m not an expert or sex therapist and you know that.



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